I shared several guest blog posts by Tania Marie in the past. She’s a sweet soul sister-of-my-heart I met through Laura Bruno, our Reiki Master Teacher (amazing soul sister-of-my-heart as well). If you use the search function on my blog, you can find other insightful articles by Tania or follow the link to her site above. I am sharing this from Tania below, as it came in synchronistic timing, as is often the case.
You see, I’ve been working on a series of blogs that have been deeply heart-felt but logistically troublesome (a sort of mega-memoir in the making, with plenty of deep introspection to get the conscious languaging just right, plus expressing a healthy balance of light and shadow). Topic? Spiritual Authenticity, Expansion, Discernment, Empowerment and Protection ~ woah! No small order of business there!). Stay tuned…
In one of the draft posts, I share an epiphany I had a couple of years ago while doing deep soul-level work on my shaman path. Sub-consciously, I had been holding the belief that if I showed up in service as “lightworker” I could barter with Spirit for my continued vibrant health (after several scary years of struggling with that). Indirectly, this placed responsibility on my clients to show up for me to stay healthy, rather than taking responsibility for my own health and allowing the work of the Divine to work its magic in its own way. Part of my spiritual authenticity means learning not to keep secrets from myself, and this one was a biggie in my world-of-revelations to clear. Now, more than ever, I can show up as clear channel of Spirit with my heart-wide-open and no expectations of particular returns. Way better!
Thank you for your post, Tania, and for broadening out the lens for me for even keener insight. As always, I am honored to share your wisdom with our Sage Spirit Community.
The Quest To “Be of Service” Can Become a Disruption to your Life
By Tania Marie
Something that I often hear from people is that they feel they need to be doing something more, they are in constant search for the “bigger” service they are “supposed” to be doing, and they seek these answers in all the outside ways they possibly can, awaiting to be told the magick answer and/or to arrive at some glorified outcome.
There is this heavy self-judgment these people carry of feeling they are not doing and giving enough, sometimes self-sabotage in not recognizing what is already before them, and lack of gratitude and enriching satisfaction that isn’t being realized, which comes from the journey itself…not the arrival.
The mind throws these thoughts at you of not being “there” yet – where ever “there” is – and so it creates all of these false pretenses and illusory time constraints that create anxiety and throw you off balance, resulting in missing out on the here and now.
And in the midst of it all, they deny themselves of receiving, which is where more giving is able to come in. They are also in this constant working “at” it phase, rather than focusing on remembering the connection within to Source is always present.
Yes, you may be what is known as a “lightworker” and yet there are so many attachments to definitions of what that means and how you must appear or live up to that role and mission.
Don’t allow this to become a deterrent, obstruction, or disruption to your life. Relax into the perfection of where you are in this moment and start to shift your perception to embrace a wider picture of how you ARE already being of service, giving so much, and living out the current role of that along your journey.
There is this tendency to idealize only certain roles, positions, and “work” as being of service in this “lightworker” way.
There is the tendency to play the part, but not actually “be” the part, in order to try to “look” like you’ve arrived somewhere that doesn’t even necessarily exist.
There is the tendency to have envy towards others in roles you feel equate to these definitions, and to deny yourself and others any worthiness of the roles you uniquely have that play out in different ways.
There’s a tendency to negate all of the ways you already ARE sharing your gifts with the world.
And there’s the tendency to jump quickly into something before you are ready, to fulfill these “needs” and then wonder why nothing feels different, why nothing is happening/manifesting, or why you have the same, if not more challenging things to manage because you jumped too soon.
Service is a word that is deeply misunderstood, I believe. Especially when it comes to the realm of “lightworkers” because there’s a tendency to glamorize it into a certain category, which is idealized in New Age communities of thought. And then, people throw everything to the wind and begin to judge themselves, their lives, and each other, for not living up to these “ideals”. Not to mention, immediately want to run to create this “service idea” into a business model.
I often hear people saying, “I want so much to be of service to everyone, the world, and I have so many gifts to offer.” Then they either set out on a quest to find the answers to what they need to be doing to fulfill this mission and/or start prematurely diving into creating a whole business plan and business cards to start passing out.
That may work in some cases where people have been consistently doing the work, but to truly be of service, it is something you embody, rather than a role you play and it can evolve, but likely is already taking place exactly where you are right now. And once you start viewing your life in any role you are in, as being of service, then things will naturally evolve into the next phase of the journey rather than forcing yourself into wearing a costume that simply won’t feel natural to yourself and to the people you are trying to be of service to.
You can be of service as a cashier at the grocery store, as a good neighbor, a mother, father, sister, or brother, as a sales rep, co-worker, librarian, best friend, or a hermit living in a cabin off in the woods….It’s about how you interact with life and every living embodiment of consciousness that shares this experience with you – human, animal, plant, mineral….
We’ve spoken of ego before, but there is also spiritual ego that is quite prevalent even when we think we’ve moved beyond all of that and are now in our “service” roles. Spiritual ego plays out in many ways, which includes the “I want to be of service” and rushes into all of the business planning to start creating the role for that to play out in. Yet, if you initiate this too soon, you may find yourself rushed into something that you either are not ready for, or find that you don’t attract any responses from.
It’s not something to judge, if in fact this has happened, as it’s a gift and message that is helping you in not doing something prematurely. Remember, anything you have within you that isn’t yet integrated, is exactly what you will attract in the clients and people who come to you for work.
Life saves you FROM things you’re not prepared for, or will SHOW you exactly what you’re not prepared for. There’s no need to force things and try to prove something because when you step out of alignment with your natural timing, you’re going to experience things to teach you so that you can get back into alignment.
That’s not to say that there aren’t times perhaps that you hold yourself back and can step up things in terms of more responsibility. It’s merely to say that if you are consistently operating from embracing gratitude for being of service at all times in your life, regardless of what role your work takes on, then things will seamlessly shift and there will be no separation between your work and your personal and every day life.
What’s most important is to live your life CONSISTENTLY with undefined love and compassion, honor, accountability, humility, and service. And that involves how you relate with, speak to, greet, and interact with every single person in every situation along the course of your day, every day – always seeing them through eyes that recognize their reflection of yourself and all of humanity and how they, too, have their own journeys and challenges that are within your potential to energetically shift in that split moment of interaction, both for yourself and them.
If you truly want to be of service and live a life of service, you have that ability and opportunity right now by living this, without need for a business model. Although your work may naturally take that form at some point, or evolve even from the work you currently are doing in this vein. Again, your life and work need not be separate or judged as lesser or greater than.
This is part of the reason I’ve shared with people that ask me if I have a meditational practice, that my life is a walking meditation. I simply don’t see the separation anymore. Everything is an extension of who I am in the moment. And although I’ve taken steps and created processes to get to this more seamless experience, after a while, it becomes natural and without need for deliberate separateness. No part of life is different than any other, if you are embodying and being.
Whatever job you currently have (especially a non-spiritual one) is an opportunity to be of service to the people around you and that you interact with through it. And in fact, it may actually be the most enriching way to learn to be of service, as you are being prompted by a variety of situations that likely trigger you in challenging ways, and those challenges are the perfect training ground to truly be loving, to demonstrate listening integrity, and learn humility.
Challenges are not to be avoided, but to be transmuted.
When you live in service to everyone, no matter what “job” you have, you will naturally attract people who seek your gifts through the genuine encounters you have daily. And that happens without need for a business model, as things will naturally evolve from there.
Chasing after or forcing anything is a clear indication that it either isn’t the thing for you, or you’re out of alignment and the timing is off. When you are in your natural frequency of emanating and embodying the qualities of service, that come from an authentic place of being loving from the inside out, you will draw to you, your vibrational matches.
Life becomes that of living in anonymity and without thought of what you think all these ideals need to look like. You relax into your life and recognize all of it as valuable and integral.
Life becomes abundant because you release attachments to what abundance is supposed to be, and you learn to serve the world through your natural expression, rather than aspiring to serve the world by some definition of that.
And even if you spend a lot of time alone, you are still being of service, as the person you are serving right now, is you. And, by embodying that example, you are vibrationally reaching the collective.
With perspective shifts, your whole life shifts, and you live with more deliberate knowing and enrichment, which then will evolve seamlessly, consistently, and divinely.