Ah, if you think the spiritual path is for wimps, think again! Today we have a very transparent, funny and profound guest blog post from Heather Rocke, one of our amazingly gifted Reiki Master Teachers trained through Sage Spirit. Heather is also a yoga teacher, savvy business manager, and leader in our community in many ways. In our Reiki II workshop, we’ve enhanced the curriculum to include advanced techniques for clearing and manifesting. Heather brilliantly highlights these themes and the grey space in between, as well as the power of ceremony and intention. I just had to share and I hope you InJoy!

Heather at Wanderlust at Squaw Valley this year

Manifesting and the Monkey’s Paw by Heather Rocke

This past New Years’ Day, my BYF (Best Yoga Friend) and I went to our favorite Yoga teacher’s class to “start the year off right”. At the beginning of class, Melissa (aforementioned fave Yoga instructor) offered us an opportunity to sum up our New Years’ goals/resolutions/intentions in one word, and the 20-plus other people in class yelled their word out with us on the count of three. I knew mine as soon as she suggested the idea. Christie (BYF) panicked for a moment, and as Melissa counted down, she found her word on three: “FREEDOM!” For which we laughed after class and I accused her of channeling Braveheart. My word? “GROWTH!” Oh good Lord, looking back, there are so many other perfectly good words. Amongst them: JOY, PEACE, LOVE, HAPPINESS… But no. I had to get creative. Invite change. My alternate title for this piece is “The Grey Space Before Change”.

I’ve been here quite a bit this year, which is not even half over as I write. It’s a cloudy, stagnant, dull place. I’d prefer to skip this part of the process altogether, if you please.

Flash-forward to current time: My BYF, my BPF (Best Psychic Friend, duh) and I decided to try something different for our New Moon manifestation this month. We walked down to the Truckee River and had a little ceremony on the bank after sunset. Candle, incense, prayer… we made it up, but we’d done this before. You know, BEFORE-before. Because I’m a slow learner, I chose another profound word when we narrowed down our intentions for this moon cycle. DESTINY. Yes, really. I like to invite discomfort THAT much.

So here I sit, stuck in the grey space of my spirit being crushed. I’ve trudged through it plenty over the past few years, as my life has taken some fantastic developmental twists and turns, but the grey space still sucks. It feels like being stuck, trapped by old habits, and lacks hope or meaning. Friends who know say things like “you’re preparing to move some big energy” (BPF) and “it always feels yucky right before significant change” (BYF, paraphrased). I’m frightened by the potential of DESTINY. Yikes, that’s a loaded one! Like, pick up my snowglobe of a life and shake-the-shit-out-of-it scary.

I’m in a funk plus a little scared. I’ve been angry (mostly at my poor husband), unhappy, and weepy for days. The message I’m receiving from every direction since New Moon: shed the old to bring in the new. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Ugh. No really, what?!

So I wait. Sit with the grey space. Try to control my emotions to some degree without denying them. Put on a brave face when I can muster the energy to. Hope that DESTINY doesn’t equal turmoil or upheaval, and that it is followed quickly by peace.

I have already chosen my word for next New Moon: BLISS. One more: REST. *sigh* If you don’t get the reference to The Monkey’s Paw, look it up. Nutshell: Careful what you wish for.

If you need more proof, just ask Christie how FREEDOM is working out for her so far…