Sage Spirit Blog

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Living with Incongruence, Part III

To change, a person must face the dragon of his appetites

with another dragon, the life energy of the soul.

Mevlana Rumi

In “Living with Incongruence Part II,” we explored the different ways that incongruence shows up in our lives. Whether doing or not doing what we know we need to stop or start doing, or whether buying into limiting beliefs that hold us back, we may experience excessive mind chatter, energy drains, diminishment of our personal power related to not exercising our will power, and even disease. In this part of the series, we’ll explore the role our heart’s desires and thinking play in awakening our willpower. Aligning our hearts, minds, and willpower are essential to effecting positive change in our lives.

Here are some ways that incongruence between mind and heart shows up. We may find that our heart isn’t into something even when our logical mind knows exactly what must be done. For example, we know we have to earn a living, but we might hate the time we spend at our current job. We may find that our mind is only interested in playing it safe without considering the whole of our lives. For example, we may stay in a destructive relationship because we’re afraid to hurt the other person, live on our own, or begin life anew. We may find our mind vacillating wildly from one way of thinking to another. For example, when receiving a pep talk from a friend, we may feel wildly courageous, but then we go home or to work and feel much more humbled, even fearful of change. Believe me, living with such incongruence can make us feel a bit crazy, especially as we face a major life transition when we must dig deep within, over-riding our mind chatter, in order to find our authentic way in this world.

Caroline Myss, in “Energy Anatomy,” (http://myss.com/) suggests that when our hearts and minds are not aligned, like in the examples above, addictions will rule our willpower. Addictions, as Myss defines them, are not necessarily related to alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex, or gambling. They are connected to anything we believe we need for tranquility, perhaps a person, a job, or a system of beliefs. In order to transcend our addictions, we may consider strategies to realign our heart’s desires with our thinking in order to awaken our willpower. The path for all of us will be different, based on our own needs and desires. I will offer a few things that have worked for me, in hopes they are of use to you too. When practiced together, the strategies below created a synergistic transformative energy that wouldn’t have occurred using each in isolation.

The most important strategy for me is to be on fire with my life purpose. However, when I feel my purpose is too big, or when I become lost in the details of making it manifest, I sometimes become overwhelmed. I may distract myself or self-sabotage my efforts with procrastination, indulgences, etc. in order to slow down the pace of my life, as well as to my destiny, making the journey more comfortable. Paradoxically, it doesn’t work! It just creates mind chatter, guilt, shame, and even disgust. It’s a bad trip! I find that it’s healthier for me to remind myself of my life purpose each day, to say it aloud, and to feel the joyful vibration it brings to me. It fuels my sense of purpose for the entire day, empowering both heart and mind, while leaving less space for my addictive, self-sabotaging behaviors.

I also like to keep my busy mind collecting data from a place of curiosity. As a personal example, I mentioned before that my healing process has been connected with diet, so I open myself to whatever and however information appears related to my energy. I notice how I feel when I eat a salad versus a garden burger versus cheesecake. I notice how high and empowered I feel when I make a commitment that honors my higher self versus how guilty I feel when I break my commitment to myself.

Then I work to change my programming to match the data I’ve received. Affirmations, especially when stated aloud, can be really powerful in reinforcing new neural pathways that align with what I’m creating. When I create succinct, present-tense, powerful beliefs – Everything I eat nurtures my vibrant health! – that replace my former thoughts that keep me stuck – No matter what I eat, I never seem to heal – I find that my heart and mind align in ways that support positive changes and growth.

Affirmations help to build my internal strength for positive change. Another way is to live in a space of gratitude. I’ve found it helpful to journal ten things for which I am grateful each night as I process my day. It’s also essential to surround myself with others who accept and invite my most authentic self to emerge, those who are not afraid of life changes I make, and who agree to support my journey.

For challenging and changing my thinking, especially with over-riding old programming that doesn’t serve, I find Byron Katie’s web site, http://www.thework.com/ or her book, Loving What Is: Four Questions that can Change your Life very helpful. Our thoughts are much too powerful in creating our reality to allow them to run wild, especially when they work against us.

If you seek change and liberation from your mind chatter and self-sabotaging behaviors, and if you struggle with creating the changes you desire, you may want to work with a life coach to create a life purpose statement that lights you up and helps you stay focused. Life coaches support your path in an on-going way to creatively address the mind chatter and to minimize other internal and external challenges. They help you to uncover the secrets within you that will help you create the most fulfilling life you can imagine. Reiki, a form of energetic clearing and balancing that also promotes healing, is another wildly valuable resource for aligning my heart and mind. Treating yourself to Reiki sessions can support your positive growth and help you to release addictions and attachments.

Life is so complex, it’s no wonder we humans come with so much incongruence. By exploring our own patterns consciously, we may learn to embrace our quirks and creativity and to see all the possibilities that exist in our lives, all while accepting our humanness. It helps to know that wherever we are is exactly the right place for us to learn and to grow more deeply into who we are becoming. We may release judgment or our tendency to make ourselves wrong, which only fuels what we wish to diminish. By being open to what is in this moment, and by loving ourselves just as we are, we open the doors to infinite growth, transcending our old programs, addictions, and paradigms, and embracing the world of possibilities.

What would your heart and mind like to tell each other?

Where do you find your distractions and addictions?

What strategies help to align your heart and mind?

What is one way you would like to honor your inner knowing?

What commitment would you like to make to yourself from this space of knowing?


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