“As our minds are illumined, we become better at romance because we become better at being human. We become better at forgiveness and support and love. The enlightened world will not be one in which no one ever falls in love. The enlightened world will be one in which everyone is in love with everyone all the time. There will be no judgment, therefore no blocks to the awareness of love. We will see each other as God created us: as the perfect, loving and lovable people we really are at our core. The purpose of romantic love is to jump start our enlightenment.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Some of my former blog posts have focused on transitions in our collective relationship paradigms. I truly honor all paths and paradigms as valuable and cherished. I love that we have so many choices in creating consciousness in every aspect of our lives, and what could be more yummy than bringing that consciousness into relationships? I have explored a bit on the skinny branches the ways that love can show up even bigger, and I’ve learned some hard lessons around all that. I will share a little, in the interest of transparency and trust. Even poorly-kept secrets create barriers to intimacy. I share too because I know it takes courage to be authentic sometimes, and I want to model that courage, even if my knees quiver a bit. I want you to know that I am willing to encourage and support your own authentic light, as unique and distinct from mine, in all the inspired ways you BE.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi
First: an apology. For those whom I confused with my public displays of affection for more than one Beloved on Facebook and in community, I sincerely apologize. I get a little carried away at times, a consequence of my own creativity. Many clients and students felt safe enough to ask me about it so I could share openly, and I’m grateful for that.
For years I have identified as polyamorous. Polyamory means, literally, many loves, as in being open to more than one love at a time in a completely open and honest way (not lying, not cheating). In the broadest interpretation of polyamory, we open to expressions of love that include mental, emotional, sexual and/or spiritual intimacy, as reflections of the unique dynamic of each relationship. I haven’t talked about it in an open venue like this before, because I am much more than poly. It doesn’t define me. Plus there is much confusion within and about poly-identified people. Many people have been hurt in the context of unconscious poly-relationships gone bad. The same is true for monogamous relationships, of course. There’s much healing of our hearts to be done within the collective, that’s for sure.
Perhaps, rather, I choose to be the spokesperson for wildest authenticity, of accepting responsibility for my choices and actions, and for living life fully. Poly is a part of that for me, as a significant part of my spiritual and creative expressions and explorations. In these years I have tasted the most delicious intimacy with my Love, Dana, that I live with and share a full-time life with. I have also had amazing love-dances and friendships with others who identify as poly. Can you imagine a more free-thinking, creative bunch? I can’t. And I would know. Imagine my life… I love others. They love others. Who also love others. And I love them too, even if from a distance, but sometimes, even sweeter, we share in expanded family. There’s the potential to create a beautiful web of love, joy, and bliss when we love in this way. As wonder-filled and utopic as this many sound, it’s definitely not the path for everyone. And it’s definitely not a prescription for an ailing relationship. Not at all.
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