Photo by Dana Nollsch, www.PhotoZen.us

Love is a state of being and not so much an emotion. ~ Dana Nöllsch

Our relationship to relationship evolves – just as we evolve, just as everything else in our world seems to be transforming right before our eyes. So many of us are consciously designing new ways of authentic BEing in life and in relation to the others in our lives, not just in romantic and intimate relationships, but friendships, business collaborations, family and chosen family, and community.

We’re confused and frustrated, our relationships seem to be in chaos, and we don’t have the old traditions to lean on or anything new to take their place. Yet, we can’t go back, we must move forward into the unknown to create new kinds of relationship. In order to do this, it’s important to understand that our external relationships reflect our internal relationships with ourselves. My primary relationship is my relationship with myself – all others are mirrors of it. ~ Shakti Gawain

How are you evolving in relation to relationship? Dana Nöllsch and I have been discussing this with one another and others, and this blog post is a compilation of our thoughts so far. We welcome you to share your thoughts too in the comment section below.

What we are noticing in our life and work is that so many are searching for or experiencing otherworldly-feeling connections. The profound sense of familiarity when someone new comes into our experience can only be explained in the context of past-lives and soul-families. Some refer to this phenomena as reconnecting with a soul mate or twin flame, though these concepts can mean different things to different people.

What do you believe about soul mates, twin flames, and soul families?

What experiences have you had with these?

Encountering our soul mate or twin flame doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve found, “the one,” as in, “the only one.” In fact, dancing into these deeper ways of relating may even bring a more pronounced sense of freedom and expansiveness, where we may show up as being bigger love in all ways of BEing and in all relationships, rather than feeling bound by mores that would restrict our expressions of love. The point is to bring consciousness into the dance of life and relating, so that who we choose to be reflects our inner values while honoring the container for the relationship(s) in our lives as well.

If we tune into ourselves, trust ourselves, and express ourselves full and honestly with each other, the relationship will unfold in its own unique and fascinating way. Each relationship is an amazing adventure; you never know exactly where it will lead. ~ Shakti Gawain

In the new paradigm of love, we sense and experience intimacy that comes from integrity, where there is honoring the relationships with transparency and a willing vulnerability. There’s a willingness to release ego and judgment, to be with what is and to love it thoroughly. There’s a deep impulse to support those we love in a deeply unconditional way, seeing the vast potential of the others, and desiring that fullest expression of them to blossom in the world. There is a deeper commitment to spiritual growth, where there’s supporting ourselves and others in the deepest ways, and even offering spiritual or practical protection as needed.

At least for a time, we may enjoy a sense of divinely blending our purpose and path. Each person provides a puzzle piece belonging to the greatest mystery. We playfully put the puzzle pieces together, and in the joining, the mystery becomes bigger, more beautiful, more expansive, more joyous, more profound, more… mysterious and more clear, all at the same time. We sense that this willingness to go deeper into spiritual communion serves the bigger mystery, as the portal of love opens deeper connection and exploration with angels, spirit guides, Source and all of the mysteries that have ever been since time immemorial. Embracing love and compassion in these deepest ways allows spiritual love to grow and flow in concentric circles that expand, nurture and transform all others.

In the new world, we are discovering something simple and beautiful that can heal much of our pain: the greatest romance of all can be our love affair with life. ~ Shakti Gawain

Our collective new paradigm is not yet built, nor utopic. We’re human and we often struggle to show up fully, authentically, and lovingly. Though perpetual drama drains and distracts us, drama is part of the human condition and a stimulus for growth and expansion. Rather than making ourselves wrong for the experience of drama, we may use life’s challenges and tragedies to grow spiritually. Underneath drama lies fear – of loss, of failure, of death… Often too there’s the experience of victimhood. Where there’s a victim, there’s also a perpetrator and a savior. How would our lives and relationships shift if we owned our power and allowed others the same? Without a victim, much of our drama slips away.

When we are willing to look deeply into ourselves, we realize that the others in our lives serve as a profound mirror for our own experiences and the ways we BE in the world. If we witness chaos and turmoil, that must be a part of us too. In fact, seeing the shadow within another illuminates the shadows within us too so that we may dance divinely into healing and integrating the lost pieces of ourselves we once cast away to fit in… at long last.

Falling in love is actually a powerful experience of feeling the universe move through you. The other person has become a channel for you, a catalyst that triggers you to open up to the love, beauty, and passion within you. ~ Shakti Gawain

If we witness infinite beauty in another, so too is that a deep expression for who we BE in any given moment. Through BEing and through witnessing the journey of the others, we ultimately come into revelation of own self-worth. Self-love means by-and-by transcending those old sub-programs that encourage us to limit ourselves, to place conditions on our happiness, to judge ourselves harshly, and to honor everyone’s agendas above our own. From this space of freedom, we shine more brightly and in doing so, plus encourage others to heal, transform and shine too. This, Beloveds, brings us to the new paradigm.

How will you allow yourself to fall more deeply in love with yourself today?

How will you foster your love-affair with live?

How will you embody love more deeply today?